Ellie Belle...

You have heard lots about Tessie, some about the hubby, and even a story about Blake when she was little. Am I missing anyone? Oh yeah....

Ellie Belle.

Ellie was five years old when she decided to inform her kindergarten teacher that she wanted a baby brother or sister. It even made the wall outside the classroom of the kids wishes. I laughed about it but little did she, or anyone besides the hubby and myself know that she would soon get her wish.

Several months later I did get pregnant. We waited until I was three months along before telling the girls in case something bad happened. It was a riot. By this time Blake was eight and Ellie was six. Ellie acted really excited while Blake came up with the dreaded question.

How did you and daddy make that baby?

I answered truthfully while not being overly descriptive. She got the point enough to run from the room in horror with her hands over her ears while yelling "Gross! Gross! Gross!" and then, when she regained control over herself came back to me and said, "So mama, if the baby in this picture is three months old (she was holding a picture of my twelve week sonogram), then that means that was the last time that you and daddy did that, right?

Absolutely.

As I got further along in my pregnancy I noticed that Ellie became terrified that she was going to die, I mean terrified. It really worried me. She was in an agony of fear and anything she came across would fire it up. I couldn't understand where this was all
coming from and was afraid that she may be developing some type of lifelong anxiety disorder. Luckily, I was wrong.

It all came to a head on New Year's Eve. I had spasmed my back and was laid up literally on the floor of the living room and was in misery. Blake and Ellie were spending the night at my mom's house and around midnight we got a call from her.

"Ellie is very upset and wants to go home."

Charlie immediately went to pick her up and she came home and was crying and scared of dying and I was frantic to help her feel better. I asked her if she wanted to lay next to me on the floor and she did. We cuddled for a bit and when she was calmer I began to gently question her about all of her fears. I came up with every possible scenario from movies that she had seen to other kids telling her stuff but none of it was right.

Then I hit the jackpot. "Is it about the baby?"

"Yes."

"Are you afraid I won't love you as much and you won't be as special when there is a baby around?"

"Yes"

I felt so bad for her because that was what was causing all of her stress plus she felt guilty for feeling like that (and I wondered if the guilt somehow manifested itself into her dying) so she didn't dare to tell anyone. We talked for a long time about it and I assured her that babies only added love, they never took it away and that she would always be special, that there could never be anyone who could take her place.

From that day on she was genuinely excited to be a big sister and what a big sister she has been.

When Ellie enters the room and talks to Tessie, you would swear that for Tess, there could be no higher thrill in life. Ellie always, always, always makes time for Tess and I very rarely have to ask her to do something with her. Tess giggles and laughs and shakes in pure delight at Ellie. And the icing on the love cake, Ellie can repeat, verbatim, all the lines with the correct inflection, to the Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

When Tess is in the hospital, Ellie will take a day and come to see her and crawl right in to the hospital bed beside Tessie and just lay for hours with her because it makes Tess happy. She has all the patience in the world with Tess. She is proud of Tess and accepts her for who she is. She went to Special Olympics with us and helped her bowl and we had a blast. She sings to Tessie, and muck like Tessie, Ellie is a snuggle bunny so the two are a perfect fit.

One time Ellie was keeping an eye on Tess so I could have a shower and when I got out, Tess was in the throes of a seizure while Ellie was gently stroking her and talking to her and timing the seizure. When I asked her why she didn't yell for me to get out of the shower she simply said, "I knew what to do," And she wasn't lying. She was all over it.


Like any mom, I could go on and on but will suffice it to say, Ellie is kind, smart, funny, gorgeous, and in general just a great girl and I am so proud of her,

Not only because she is an awesome big sister to Tess, because she is awesome. Period....