TV Connoisseur

I love television.

 Love. It.

I love the distraction it provides, the entertainment, heck, sometimes I have it on simply for background noise as I read a book. It runs constantly in my house. Silence is definitely not considered golden around here.

Except for the hubby. He dislikes the TV. Really dislikes it in fact. He would very happily live without a TV in the house and has even gone so far as to hint at getting rid of it. And by hint, I mean loudly state how sick he is of it and if it were up to him, it would be gone.

It's like he is speaking in tongues. I just don't understand him.

I mean, NOT watch reruns of Friends, Will& Grace, The King of Queens, Wings or my beloved Little House on the Prairie?!?!?

No Real Housewives of....(pick a city; for me it's New Jersey and New York), no The Voice, Glee, Barefoot Contessa, or Dance Moms?!?!?

No movies that you have seen a hundred times already but are much more exciting and special because they are airing on television?!?!?

You're talking crazy!

I cannot even begin to fathom a world without my "precious", um, I mean TV.

Then there is the fact that I am literally stuck home when I am alone with Tessie. Which, let's face it, is often and while you may be thinking, "There are plenty of things she can do at home other than watch TV.", hear me out.

I am not a crafty girl. I can knit a scarf as long as you don't want any semblance of a design in it or I can whip out a mighty fine dishrag, though again, it is literally a knitted square with no hint of  style. And holes, you must overlook the inevitable holes that will end up somewhere in there. I cannot sew. I do own a sewing machine because I had really great intentions of learning how to sew but alas, not for me. I don't paint, scrapbook or take amazing photographs. I do buy all the necessary equipment to be able to do all of these things because in my heart I am an awesome crafter just bursting with creativity but the reality is, the money would have been better spent on, oh, I don't know, food or bills or something not very fun or crafty such as that.

And thanks to chronic back pain, I don't tend to go all crazy with the house cleaning as it only ends up leaving me in miserable pain. Besides, that's why I have Blake and Ellie. *snicker*

I'm a pretty good cook, that is when I can get to the store to buy the groceries, but it is hard to go into the kitchen and leave Tess is in the other room where I can't see her. Tess must be watched constantly. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" (see, a handy dandy quote from a little movie called Harry Potter which was on TV all weekend). As in, barely able to leave her to go to the bathroom. And showers? If I am home alone with Tessie, forget it. Too big a risk to leave her alone so I wait for someone else to be in the house to sit with her. Sometimes I am forced to risk it and leave her alone in order to shower but as a general rule, the anxiety this gives me just isn't worth it.

Also, I need the distraction that these shows provide in order to get out of my head and the constant worries over all things Tessie related. And trust me when I tell you, in the dead quiet is when those worries start to really take root. Nobody benefits if that happens.

So that leaves reading and television. In truth I tend to prefer a good book but don't always have one on hand so TV it is.

Plus, when you watch a lot of TV, you are always ready with a kick ass comeback line for any situation that may befall you. Like the line I used above from Harry Potter. But wait, there's more...

Ran out of gas on the freeway? Perfect response might be from Oh Brother Where Art Thou: "Damn, we're in a tight spot!"

                                                  damn, they're in a tight spot!

Dropping in on friends for the night but don't want to appear to be too needy? You could always come up with that winning line from Christmas Vacation: "We didn't come to impose."

                                               They didn't come to impose.....


Sick of someone always butting into your business with their unsolicited advice? "Get a hobby!" spoken to Jill by Bethenny on Real Housewives of New York would shut them up in a hurry.

                                                  She needs to get a hobby!


Or when something unexpected happens you can whip out, "Oh for Heaven's sakes!" in the same voice as Harriet Olson on Little House on the Prairie. (You totally just did that in her voice, didn't you?)

                                                       Oh for Heaven's sakes!



So, really, TV is helpful on many levels.

Yes, I could be called a couch potato. I prefer to call it a TV Connoisseur.