Cry and you cry alone.
Had to finish that little saying. Plus, isn't kind of true? Think about it. How many times have you cried and anyone else really feels your pain? Really gets it? Now think about the times you have laughed your butt off. I bet you are smiling just thinking about it. If you were within earshot of another person I almost guarantee that they were laughing right along with you even if they had no idea what they were laughing at. Because laughter is contagious. Thank God.
The reason for my rambling is that as I was getting ready for bed last night at around nine-thirty or so, I heard The Toots laughing in her bed. I am talking hysterical, gut wrenching giggles. And I just cracked up. My hubby and I were in our room, looking at our little 'spy on Tooties' TV monitor and laughing right along with her. Talk about easing off the tension of a long day. What a great way to go to sleep. With your child's laughter ringing in your ears.
What was she laughing at? I have no earthly idea but it was funny.
I like to try to think of things that she could be giggling about. Was it because she had just woken up and was remembering a funny dream? Was there something on her bedding that struck her as funny? There is a mural painted along the sides of her bed of a castle and princess, waterfall and unicorn flying...was it that? Was she being 'visited' by one of her guardian angels (and yes, I know that sounds crazy but it makes me feel better to imagine that I have a little extra help from the Big Guy when it comes to watching over the Toodle Bug so leave me alone) and they were just a hoot?
Often times, I will sneak into her room when she is laughing like that because the joy is palpable. You can literally feel it prickle your skin and tingle your spine. It is an awesome feeling to be around The Toot's laughter. If her sisters are home and they hear her, they will also run to her room to take part in the fun. They can't resist it either.
Plus I like to try to see what she is looking at to see if I can figure out what it is that is bringing her such fun. Often times she is literally waving her little hand around, spreading her fingers wide then waving them an inch or two from her face and then going off in to gales of laughter. I have even tried doing this while laying in bed to see if I can get the "funny" in this...um, no, but it always makes me smile when I am doing it because (one):I feel like a crazy person and that kind of makes me smile (albeit a bit nervously because maybe I am losing it) and (two): it instantly makes me think of Tessie laughing and that always makes me smile.
Like I said before, I am forever trying to figure out what is making her laugh so hard, all alone in her bed. And maybe it is something that is so simple it often gets overlooked:
She sees the joy in simply being alive. No strings attached. No waiting on someone to make her happy. Just unconditional faith that she will be taken care of and loved. She is not jaded by the body and world that she has been thrust into. Just happy.
Plus she knows she has a mom in the next room, laying in bed, waving her hand in front of her face, with a smile on her lips and a daddy who has also done the same thing....
Wouldn't that make you laugh?...
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I teach in a school and there have been days in the past when it seems like all of our non- communicating special needs children have a huge inside joke that only they get. It always makes me smile and yearn to know what it is that they know and I don't. This was a great blog...thank you for sharing it. It made me smile.
ReplyDeletehaha i have definitely tried waving my hand in front of my face when i heard her laughing in bed. i have no idea why it is so funny to her. gotta love sled-dog!!
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